Et tu, Brutus?

I know it has been a looong time since I posted anything. To be honest, I couldn't remember my password. I have dealt with many of life's peaks and valleys over the last year, and I am glad to say that I didn't succumb to the overwhelming adversity that I had to contend with. With the many life changing things that I had to face, the thing that wounded me the deepest was the betrayal of individuals that I had allowed into my inner circle. To get into my select few is a great fete to overcome, because I am a very private person and keep my friend list very short. I do that intentionally because I found that to be considered my friend you have to definitely be true blue. I don't do fair weather friends because I am not one. I will sacrifice all that I have for the sake of others'. That was one of the lessons learned during the last year to not give more to anyone than they are willing to give to me. 

To be absolutely frank, I had never experienced anything so heart wrenching in all of my life. I consider my friends my extended family and to be betrayed by two of them felt like dying a death over and over again. I could honestly understand the dismay Julius Caesar felt to be killed by one that he held so close. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that the individuals that I trusted with something that I value dearly, my heart, would stick a knife into it until it felt as though it would no longer beat. To be at this stage in my life I shouldn't be surprised by the nature of man (woman), surprisingly so I am. I always believe the best of people until they prove to me otherwise. I was told that I should be the opposite to believe the worst until they prove the best.  


I must say that I am a lot stronger now and definitely wiser. I shed a lot of tears, however I must admit that I became stronger with each tear. I used to think that when you make friends you will be friends forever. Not so. My pastor used to say that the individuals that you spend your life with are writing chapters in your story. Their part in your story may be for a season or for a lifetime. You don't really know. You just have to pray for the wisdom to know when someone is no longer any good for you and let them walk away or you walk away from them. I have resolved to do just that, walk away from them. I used to have a lot of unanswered questions like "Why would they do this to me?", or "How could I be so foolish not to see that these people weren't any good for me?", "How could they not see how good of a friend I am?". I sat down and came to the conclusion that it wasn't me that had the problem it was the individuals that I chose to befriend. One thing I am assured of is that they will definitely miss my presence in their lives. There is no way you could come in contact with me and not. I choose to walk in forgiveness and love, and I also choose to ex-communicate them out of my life. Just like the Phoenix I am rising from the ashes a renewed creature.