S.O.S.! The Relationships Between Men and Women Are Drowing and Need Help

I have a looming question that I can’t seem to get answered. Where has the love gone? I am seeing more and more relationships and marriages fail. The reason stated by most of the individuals that I have had contact with for their breaking up, is that they fell out of love with the person. How? What was the deciding factor that told them that they no longer loved the person? I hear people say all the time “we fell out of love”. I personally don’t believe that you fall out of love with people. Love is a choice. I think that you choose to stop loving the person. According to the dictionary the word love is a noun and a verb. Let’s explore the definition of love: n. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person, v. to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. The common thread in this definition is passionate. The definition of passionate is expressing, showing, or marked by intense or strong feeling, emotional, and the definition of affection is fond attachment, devotion, or love. So is the real reason the relationships aren’t making it is because the passionate affection no longer exists between the couple? What happened to the staying power of relationships?

I am relatively young, but I remember when men and women devoted themselves to each other at all cost. No matter what, they were going to stick it out; rich or poor, in sickness or in health they were going to be with that person until death. The art of courtship was mastered by our older generation. Maybe we need to try to resurrect that idea. Men and women need to introduce themselves to some old-fashioned values. Get to know the person first before you move to the next level. Ask some interesting questions about the individual and maybe the screening process for potential mates will go a lot smoother if you wean out the undesirables. I know we are in a different time and different mind set, but I think respect should never go out of style. Respect for each other. Respect for where the person is currently and where they come from. Respect for their individuality and uniqueness. Respect for their humanity.

That raises another question for me, can opposites really attract? Can two people that are polar opposites really coincide in harmony with one another? I am relying on some unscientific research as my inspiration for this article. It is purely from my friends and their relational mishaps as well as my own. The one thing that I think really needs to happen is that men and women need to get the understanding that one can’t really and truly exist without the other. It goes against the law of nature. Now don’t misunderstand me. I am not saying that either will die without the other, but what I am saying is that woman was created to enhance the life of man. She was created so that the man wouldn’t be alone relationally. She is the missing link in the puzzle of his life. If this is the case, why aren’t men and women getting along? I will tell you why. They have both lost focus on the richness that the other adds to their life. When men and women are in loving and committed relationships then order has been restored to their lives. When they aren’t walking in harmony with one another they aren’t living their best life.

They aren’t living on the level they should be. Their greatness is untapped. Their contribution to the world is not fulfilled. They hold the key to something far greater than they even realize. Love is a force to be reckoned with. I have had my share of experiences with love. It wasn’t until I truly lost myself for the man that I loved that I believe I really experienced true love. He showed me a side of me that I never knew existed. I lost me for him, but I gained a new me. A better me, a me that I am proud to say that I met. I believe that even though the relationship didn’t last, I will forever be a part of him and he is a part of me. The essence of who I truly am came alive in that relationship. The inner child in me was awakened from her deep slumber. The love I shared with him invigorated me. It was truly an exhilarating time in my life.

I know you are now thinking if things were so wonderful why didn’t it last? Well, all I can say is that on the surface things were wonderful, but I found out later this individual had some deep seeded personal issues that he wouldn’t allow me to help him work through. I feel like love can truly conquer all. I am what you call a hopeful romantic, not hopeless. To be hopeless is to feel that what you desire will never happen or to lose the expectation that it can. I believe that there is a man that will be well deserving of the love that I have to offer and vice versa. I still have hope for the salvation of the relationships between men and women. Despite what a male friend of mine seems to think the ratio of women to men is. I think we need to just get back to the basics men being men and women being women. I mean would a little chivalry and femininity kill any of us? I think not.

I think men like to feel needed, appreciated, admired, and adored. I think women like to take a step back and just be dainty and pretty sometime. The demands of life have weathered a lot of us women. We have to bring home the bacon and cook it too, so sometime the men in our direct realm of influence suffer because they feel like we don’t need them. Trust me when I tell you even the most powerful of women like to feel the masculinity of a man. If it is just the bass in his voice or the strength in his hug it is all desired. Women, men may not ever want to admit this, but they too have a secret longing for you no matter how powerful they seem. The smell of your perfume, the sound of your laughter, the way your hair blows in the wind, they way your dress conforms to your shape these are all things that men sit and talk about when we aren’t around. They talk about other things too like how your legs look in heels or how soft your skin looks, you know normal guy stuff.

I think my deductive reasoning has led me to this conclusion don’t forget what attracted you to the person in the beginning and don’t forget the positive attributes that they possess. I recall a scene in a movie that I saw where the women were despondent about their husbands and their friend advised them to compile a list of all the good and bad qualities of their husbands and if the bad outweigh the good then leave, but if not work it out. That is my advice for men and women. Work it out. Stop leaving at the slightest sign of trouble. It is the testing of the relationship that determines the strength that it has. Now if you don’t have the proper foundation to start it will crumble and no amount of effort will salvage a poorly constructed relationship.